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    Technically, they have a free option, but it isn’t a good option. Maintaining relationships in the Victorian era meant deciphering the often bewildering code: How does a gentleman walk with a lady? “Make love” to Victorians meant instead chaste courtship or wooing. “You will avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, and save yourself from all further perplexity.”What about anonymous gifts from dudes? Nope: “When this is the case, it is a good way to put them by, out of sight, and never to mention them.”) Women, it is argued, prefer a “backward, awkward, and even a little uncouth” manly man over a “polite, agreeable dandy.” Men of the time were told to not frequent “the haunts of disreputable women” or spend time “ruining weak-minded girls,” but instead “harden your hands and smut your face at honest work.” In case the message wasn’t clear, the book also advises men to “engage in every manly exercise, so that all who look upon you will be compelled to say, ‘There is a man.’” (1860) says engaged men should not only “show constant attention” to their “bride-elect,” they should also “neither in company nor elsewhere... But there’s a Victorian twist: “On the other hand, he should avoid, even to his bride-elect, those marked attentions and endearments that would excite in strangers a smile of ridicule.”So no public displays of affection? Irrevocable Saudi law dictates that the throne of Saudi Arabia must remain in the hands of the sons and grandsons of the founder.


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